Screams

They screamed at each other. When they saw each other, war would break out. You could feel the walls reverberating as they raised their voices. The worst was when they were at each other's throats, trying to suffocate each other. The little one was asleep, too young to remember that it happened. I just looked at them battling it out at the stairwell. Sister was scared, tears ran down her face. She tried to ring them out of the horrible trance that clouded their thoughts with the urge to kill each other. I looked, stared and just absorbed. I never thought it would turn out to be one of the worst nightmares I have experienced with my own eyes.

The sight comes flooding back and shrouds my mind like fog. This fog that makes me feel lost and useless. It stabs me like a thousand needles, which hurts more than a single blade. It was triggered by the scene of the little one and her shouting and quarreling. How ironic it is that, once many years ago, the father of the little one was in that position. This leaves me sickened and unsure of how I am supposed to feel.

We, the little one and I, sit there like morons and minions. We do not know what to do or just do not wish to do. We follow her orders and clean like we should. We sit around the table and eat as we accept the "advice" and "lessons" we are given by her. We bare the barrage of words as brave as soldiers do. I listen and absorb while the little one fights back. I seem like the one that is useless but what use does bad words bring back.

She is not the villain but who is to say she isn't? She raised us three - sister, little one and I alone from the horrid one, him. She asked nothing more from us than good grades and a clean room. Who are we to say that she is the bad parent? She just wants us to learn and make us more capable. At least, she is better than the scum that left thirteen years ago. To visit six months once, give us nothing more than some money and a nice dinner. Who are we to say that life should always be pleasant?

Long ranting from me but sometimes what is the use? Where many listen but no one does anything for you. I scream from my heart and hope that someone hears. I'm not okay, I wish people were there, at least to lead the way. Hope you hear what I have to say and maybe take another look. What seems to be on outside could be all just an impressive overcoat.